| they sure do make you toot.
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| it's been awkward lately... things seem to be falling into place. dripping, drooping, dropping all
into the wrong place. just a week ago, you could ask me how i was, i'd
have said i've been wonderful, and that'd be the truth. just this last week
though, things have been swirling down the toilet. yet i feel like i haven't been
flushing, and just been letting things get stagnant. which is pretty
much what i've been doing... i feel broken, sore all over. had
something important destroyed. lost someone's trust. found out some
secrets i didn't want to believe. i guess that's why they're secrets. i
guess that's how i know something's precious to me. i guess that's when
i learn that i can't always be passive. i guess i don't know everything
i need to know. i don't say much. never been a man of many words. i like to express myself with
written words. as
of late, writitng's been tough for me, and sometimes i just don't like the world knowing how i feel.
i put myself out there, as an impenetrable fortress with a
moat full of crocodiles, but in truth, when i'm hidden, crouched down,
shivering within the empty dark confines of the cavernous obelisk, crudely reaching for
warmth from the cold hard ground, that fortress bares its true nature.
it becomes a tower of solitude seemingly reverberating with every hit,
exponentially amplifying every emotion, shaking me to my bones, and
ends up only aggravating the listless crocodiles into an almost rabid frenzied
state of fury. there is no in between. there's just faked genuwine smiles,
with cold rosy cheeks, putridly forced laughter, and then anger.
or...
are those vibrant actions truly authentic, and the seclusive bottled up persona counterfeit?
can i be both?
should i be none?
what then would i be?
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| do not allow temptation to lead you astray...
so long... and i'm back. dont know for how long. i'm disappearing again. my sim card is goin to go poof for a bit. i shave today. it's all goin. no more hair on this head. refreshing new year it will be. i've been down in the trenches too long. it's time for a victoriuos charge through no man's land. if that doesn't work, i'll die trying. i wont be caught licking my wounds again. i'm goin in. i'm goin in all the way. i'll see yall on the other side.
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| ok.. so how do i get 4 eprops and just 1 comment? has viv become so powerful in her conquest of xanga that she has the power to give 4 in one now? dayum..... i've fallen behind. in more than just xanga. i'd update, but there's not much to update on. happiest of new years to all you folks out there that didnt get no love from me personally. no. you're not forgotten, i probably lost your number in the onslaught of phone breaking and trading i did last year, either that or cingular just really sux.
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